Four.

(This post is seriously overdue.)

On Wednesday, May 4, 2011 at 6:12am, Matthew turned 4 years old. In the weeks leading up to his birthday, he was quite adamant that he was NOT going to be 4. He just wanted to stay 3. Can't say I blame him. He was a little under the weather that day, and it was a cloudy, gloomy, rainy day so we just took it easy at home. We did start the day off right, though, with "breakfast cake" topped with one candle. We were not allowed to sing Happy Birthday, he just wanted to blow out his candle and leave it at that. The real festivities were yesterday...his pirate themed birthday party. Like a repeat of his actual birthday, he's sick again. But you could not tell by looking at him as he played with his cousins and tore into his gifts. He can be quite the trooper - especially where chocolate cake is involved. Today he's enjoying playing with all his presents (sports equipment, sand toys, a pirate ship, and even a gold fish he named Swimmy) as we have a lazy day at home.

I still can't believe I have a 4 year old. I often find myself staring at him, wondering how I could have let these past 4 years go by so quickly. Surely, I could have done something to slow things down, savor each day a little more, make a hug last 4 seconds longer. He went from a diaper-wearing, mo-mo sucking, wrinkly chicken legged little squishy newborn, to a 4 year old...all in the blink of an eye. I so miss him being curled up on my chest, his legs under his belly, and his soft breath on my neck. I so miss his first smile, first words, first everything. Now we get to enjoy his tight hugs, his belly laughs, and silly jokes. I love watching his imagination unfold as he plays. The pure joy and pride when he tries and succeeds at something new. I love watching him show genuine concern when someone is hurt or sad, and how he tries to make it better with a kiss. More often than not, it works. He's my little momma's boy. He's sweet, loving, funny, feisty, moody, cuddly, smart...he's everything I could ever hope for in a child. And now, he's 4. A big boy, doing big boy things. But he's still our baby.