"Anything you can do, I can do better...

I can do anything better than you." Yes, it's a catchy tune from Annie Get Your Gun (Broadway geek here). It's also often the sentiment among moms. We are TOUGH on each other. Heck we're tough on ourselves. So many choices, all of them in the best interest of our babies. Natural birth or epidural, breast milk or formula, co-sleeping or crib, cloth or disposable diapers...the list goes on and on. It still amazes me that when it comes to pregnancy, birth, and babies, people lose their filters. They feel perfectly in line asking "so, did you have a c-section? Epidural? Natural birth? Did you breast-feed? No? Why not? How much weight did you gain?"

Come on, really?? I mean, between close friends, no big deal. And I don't mind sharing that I gained 43 lbs. with Matthew, 30...maybe 32 with Anthony. I had one of each...an epidural birth and one au natural. One received breast milk (with formula) for all of 3 weeks, one had formula once we got home from the hospital. If you've seen or met both, can you tell the difference?? Me thinks not.

Before I actually birthed a child, I was SURE I would jump for joy at going back to work once my 12 weeks at home were up, I was sure my labor would involve no pain relievers whatsoever, my baby would receive nothing but breast milk for at LEAST the first year of life, he would not know what a pacifier was, I would not co-sleep, etc., etc., etc.,...well guess what. Life happens. You can take your best laid plans and shove them. Nothing happens in a vacuum. We do what we can, what we must...what we think is best at the time.

The moral of the story is...be gentle. When you see a  mom whose kids are out of control at the Target check out line, don't roll your eyes. Instead, offer a sympathetic smile. You don't know what her day has been like. When you see a mom giving her newborn a bottle of powdered milk...be gentle. You don't know what she has been through. You didn't hear the baby's screams as he refused her milk-filled breast. You weren't in her head as she was coping with Post Partum Depression. Try not to judge. Because I promise she is her own worst judge and enemy at that very moment. There need be no others.